This détournement reimagines The Apples of New York (1905) by Spencer Ambrose Beach, a detailed encyclopedia of apple varieties grown in New York State. Beach’s vivid descriptions of apple varieties evoke how women are often spoken about in society. Remixing the original content through an ecofeminism lens, this new book links together and critiques the patriarchal domination of women and environmental degradation while offering steps for care and stewardship—leaving the subject open to interpretation to emphasize the parallels between their treatment.